The Darkest Illusions the Ones That Killed You
by Blood of the Wolf
Summary: Roy Mustang has achieved his dream, but has the power of his position caused him to push away the one who cares for him the most? When something evil comes a-calling, will he leave her to the fires? Or will he risk his soul? ROYAI....maybe....probably...
1. Once Burned

'Ello! So, if you are one of da people who was reading my other Royai fic, I mentioned that I had a horror one coming...just fyi, I have NEVER written a genre like this before....so what you know! It seems I am exploring new and bright horizons with these Royai ficcies! Npw, just letting you know, when I startedd writing this I had intended for it to be a one-shot, but now it isn't....I actually already have part II written, and I am working on part III too....but I would like a few reviews just to see if I should keep up with this plot bunny or not. Just let me know!

And if you ARE one of the readers from Shoot Me in the Foot....I know I promised the next chappie by today, but I have had a lot of work and the next chapter is turning out REALLY long...or at least for my chapters... . So I will probably not get it up by tonight, but hopefully I'll have time Wednesday or Thursday. I really am trying here~!!

Anyway, Riza and Roy and all their cuteness don't belong to me....the story does.... ^_^

Now, without any further adieu.....I give you........the STORY!

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"I am sorry sir, I can't do that," Riza Hawkeye's cold words cut through the Fuhrer like a knife through butter and something in him snapped. After all of these years, after they had battled their way to the top, it was _now_ that she chose to defy him.

Roy Mustang flicked two of his fingers at the gathered advisors who quickly scurried out of the room, happy to escape the fury of the Flame Alchemist. Only one of them paused, Jean Havoc felt loath to leave Riza with the raging Fuhrer, but a glance and subtle gesture of the woman's head told him that she would be fine. The wheel-chair bound advisor reluctantly rolled himself out of the office.

With a harsher cue from the Fuhrer, the two bodyguards on either side of the doors bowed out too, leaving Roy and his silent officer alone. That is when all hell broke loose. Roy slammed his fist on his desk loudly, "What is the meaning of this Ms. Hawkeye?!"

Riza winced at the use of her last name, she had thought they were close enough that he would still listen to her, but it seemed as though the longer Roy had power, the more it got to his head. "I am not leaving the capital Fuhrer, I cannot obey your command."

Roy's handsome face contorted in a snarl, "You don't have a choice in the matter soldier! Mind your place."

"Forgive me sir, but I am. My first duty is to protect you, and I can't do that from across the sea." Riza's amber eyes stared straight ahead, looking beyond the walls, anything not to be in that room with the shards of her shattered heart cutting burning slashes in her soul.

"No, your first duty is to your Fuhrer!"

Riza was silent for a moment before turning her head to look him in the eye, "Then what would you call the King Bradley episode? Did I neglect my duty in allowing you to live? The Fuhrer would have preferred you dead, but instead I helped you bring him down. By your reasoning I should be put to death, I didn't uphold my duties."

"Silence!" The Fuhrer was shaking with rage, his gloved hands fisting.

Riza Hawkeye was beyond silence. "No! Why should you treat me differently than any other soldier? The people have the right to jud—"

"I said no!!" In his rage Roy swung the back of his clenched fist, his eye flashing dangerously.

Special Advisor Havoc was waiting anxiously outside of the Fuhrer's office doors with Lieutenant Colonel Falman. He was concerned for the two of them. He had noticed the rising tension between them for the past year. He had seen Riza stare with that blank look in her eyes at the bottom of an empty glass far too many times lately. It tore his up that only the Fuhrer could pull her out of the depressed stupors he sent her to. Did Roy not realize what he was doing? He was destroying what should be the most important thing in his life. Did Roy not even care anymore? That was when a crash was heard from inside the office.

Falman rushed to the door, Havoc as much to on his heels as a man in a wheelchair could be. What they saw inside the room brought both of them up short. Riza Hawkeye, the renowned protector of Fuhrer Roy Mustang, lay sprawled on the ground, her eyes shut and skin pale. Her cheek was red, and the Fuhrer's fist was remained frozen in the air, his own eye wide with shock.

"Riza!" Havoc leaned forward towards her and Falman crouched down by her side. When he rolled her on her back he hissed in worry as he saw the small pool of blood that had formed beneath her head, pouring from a laceration on the side of her head. Havoc pulled a pistol from the inside of his coat and turned it on Roy, his voice level as he ordered the head of the nation to step away from his fallen assistant.

Roy's own guards were at a loss, not sure whether to be aiming their weapons at the crippled man or their leader. Roy just stared at his upraised fist, his expression impossible to read. The tense moment was broken by the soft moan from the fallen woman. Falman leaned over her as Riza's amber orbs opened. She raised a hand to her cheek where Roy had hit her, her eyes dull and dead.

Falman protested as she began to sit up but a tired glare forced him back and she made her way to her feet on her own, only accepting help when she began to lose her balance when getting her feet back under her. Once she was completely vertical she stepped away from the support of Falman's hand, waving him off. "I am fine Lieutenant Colonel Falman."

Havoc shivered when her eyes passed over him, he had never seen her like that; it was as if she was completely drained of any and all emotions. Roy turned his back to the movements of his subordinates, shutting everything away as he stared out the window.

Riza looked at her Fuhrer, the man she had would have followed to hell for, and bowed low to his back. "If you would excuse me Fuhrer, I fear I must take my leave of you."

With that she had left. She had refused offers of help from Havoc and Falman. She knew they would have insisted, except for that haunting order from Roy, "Don't follow her, she can take care of herself."

Shutting her eyes against the pain, Riza fled from that voice she hated, the man she had loved.

The streets were empty, dark storm clouds rolling across the early evening sky, and rumbles of thunder rang out across the heavens. Black Hayate pulled at the leash, eager to get away from the approaching bad weather and into his safe bad, but no matter how he tugged and pulled and strained, he couldn't get the human on the other end of his line to pick up the pace, she just kept walking at that same slow crawl, her mind miles away from the darkening skies.

Riza placed a hand to her throbbing temple. Her blond hair was matted with dried blood, and more was oozing fresh from the open wound. She felt the world tilt on its axle, forcing her to rely on the sturdiness of the nearest brick wall for stability. Her head kept pounding and pressure continued to build behind her eyes. Finally she had to sink to the dirty ground of an alleyway and lay her head on her knees. She was dimly aware of the growing red stains on her blue uniform, but she couldn't find the energy to care.

There was a shuffling sound from the depths of the alley and Hayate's coat stood on end as he pulled back his lips and snarled into the shadows. His thin body pressed against Riza's leg and she was shocked to feel him shaking. She had yet to find anything the dog was afraid of, so his terror managed to shoot a beam of fear through her heart and she shot to her feet, her right hand grasping her gun, her left, Hayate's leash.

"Who is it? Show yourself!" Riza could hear what sounded like raspy breathing getting louder accompanied with the faint sound of wet footsteps slowly getting closer. Riza's nose filled with the scent of blood and decay, and she had to fight not to gag at the putrid odor.

Hayate's growls had turned to whimpers and he began pulling at the leash, trying to tug his mistress into the light, but Riza's sharp eyes were trained in front of her towards the origin of the sounds. "I warn you, I am armed."

When that failed to garner a response Riza dropped Black Hayate's leash and reached with her free hand for the small flashlight the she carried in her coin purse. Once she had it out she fumbled with the metal cylinder, knocking it against her thigh as she tried to turn it on; her eyes never leaving the darkness.

Once the flashlight was on she cast the narrow beam into the shadows, only to find the alley empty. Riza was dimly aware of her dog's teeth digging into her pant leg as he tried to make her move, but she was staring in growing fascination and horror at the far wall. A spot was glowing with a sickly hue of red.

The spot got larger and she watching in shock as something began to come _out of_ the wall. It was a face, a human face devoid of skin, just muscle and blood stretched across a frame of bone. But it was the eyes…_the eyes…_that Riza couldn't stand. The sockets were filled with golden lights that stared unblinkingly at her. Riza's vision wavered as another dizzy spell hit her and she had no choice but to watch as the head was followed by shoulders just as ghastly, and Riza was forced to step a step backwards away from those eyes that pierced her soul. At her movement the thing froze. She froze to. Then it began to tilt its head, and it didn't stop, twisting its head upside down.

Riza's fingers spasmed on the trigger and she emptied her gun into the creature's flesh. When her gun stopped shooting, the bullets spent, the creature just smiled, thin black lips pulling back to reveal teeth like daggers. She screamed and hurled both gun and light blindly into the dark. There was the sound of a sick _slap_ as one of the objects managed to hit her target, but she wasn't there to hear it, having gathered Hayate in her arms and taken off at a run, the sound of a piercing shriek and the smell of smoldering flesh chasing her from the alleyway.

When she reached her apartment she locked the door behind her and turned on all of the lights, grabbing her spare pistols and slumping to the ground with the loaded guns in her shaking hands, tears rolling down her cheeks, the pain in her head increasing by the second.

Suddenly the light bulbs began to shatter one at a time until only the bulb in the ceiling above her head was left, flickering dimly. Riza felt Hayate dive under the bed behind her and she brought her guns up, she studied the room as the sickening odor reached her nose, making her eyes water. Just then her door shattered open in a shower of sharp splinters of wood and metal, one shard stabbed into her side, pinning her to the floor. Riza glanced with pain glazed eyes to the doorway. Standing in the ruble was Roy Mustang, his eyes smoldering.

"Fuhrer!" Riza's lungs began to fill with blood and a trail leaked out of the corner of her lips to join the growing pool on the carpet. "Get…get out of here!"

Her heart pounded in her chest, terrified that he would be killed, that she wouldn't be able to protect him. "Run!"

Roy's only dark eye glared down at her and he spoke with all the warmth of ice, "Why would I do that Riza? This is just where I want to be. I have the power I wanted, the entire country lies at my feet. "

Riza could feel that she was dying, her limbs becoming cold to the touch. She gasped as she felt the cold creep into her chest. She reached her arm out towards the alchemist in the hallway, "Roy…ple-please…r-Roy…"

The raven haired man tilted his head and smiled coolly, "Why should I help you? It's long past time for me to leave you behind…you are of no more use to me Hawkeye, you are…defective."

His left hand rose to caress the patch of silk that covered where his eye had once been, "You've already cost me one eye. Maybe if you had been quicker before you could manage to convince me of your worth now…Oh well, too late. Good-bye soldier."

With that he raised his fist. As his fingers snapped Riza watched as the thing from the alley stood in his shadow and fastened its jaws into the flesh of his neck. The last thing Riza Hawkeye saw was the man she loved, the man who murdered her, dieing with a look of horror and pain eternally painted on his face as the flames devoured her. She didn't even have enough breath left to scream in agony as her lungs filled with black smoke and deadly fire.

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So yep..........a wee bit of a cliffie..... just let me know what you think! If I get enough of a positive response I will post the next chapter ASAP!!!! Thanks for reading! Ta-ta!


	2. Fighting the Rain

Hola amigos! I said I'd get this to ya'll, and what you know! Here it is! One of those who reivewed (Thank you soooooo much to those of you who did so!) expressed concern over the OOCness of some characters....namely Roy. I just would like to request that yall bear with me and trust the insanity that is my imagination....and also remember that I am shamefully new to this fandom, even though I have long loved Fullmetal...

Anyway, I tried to keep relatively true to characters while allowing my own free creativity to run rampant, but I apologize for any errors. Also, you may notice that this is a crazzy combination of elements from Anime and Manga/Brotherhood...sorry about that...I just hope it doesn't get confusing for anybody! -_-

Okie dokie den! Me no own! Except for plot & stuff.....but dat's all!!!!!

I hope you enjoy and don't forget a review!! (Especially if you A- really love it, or B- have a problem or concern about it) Bye-bye!

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When Riza spoke to Roy in his office after rising from her prone position on the floor, his jaw spasmed in anger at the blank tone she used to speak to him. His hands hung loose at his side. He could hear Falman and Havoc offer to drive her home, to take her to a medic, to do anything, but she flatly refused them. He heard himself order them angrily that she could take care of herself, but he felt light years away. He stood there, his arm still shaking from the feel of the impact of her flesh with the back of his hand. He could hear the sick crack as her skin met the leather of his glove.

Part of him felt like he had no control of his words and actions. Another part of him was fighting up from the depths, dripping poisonous truths into his mind and sending a foreign feeling that burned and soothed a part of his soul that had been crying out to be heard. Roy feared looking deeper into that conflicting feeling, ignoring it as if it didn't exist, refusing to believe the implications of his thoughts.

He still couldn't believe he had hurt her. He could still see that look in her eyes while she faced him down. Her eyes, he recalled, had held the stinging anger that was so unusual in his calm subordinate, but they had also hid something else behind that rage, a thing he had hoped never to see in her gaze; fear and sorrow. Before that time Roy would have said she was the last person who would ever have reason or sense enough to fear him, but now, looking down at his gloved hand, he wondered at how he thought he could defend her.

As he peered out the window overlooking the city, he thought back to Riza. He remembered how she looked lying in a coma on a white sheeted hospital bed; her face pale from having taken a bullet meant for him. He remembered the promise he made to himself as she wavered between life and death, the promise not to let her go, to protect her even half as well as she protected him. Standing by the window at that later time, he began to wonder if he could protect her at all, and if he could save her from himself.

The horizon darkened with the approach of thunderclouds and he turned away from the view. He hated rainy days.

Roy closed his eye against the memories that threatened to overwhelm him at that thought. Riza knocking him out of the way of Scar's attack when the rain had made him "useless". Riza standing at his back by the grave of Maes, silently offering him comfort and space to grieve, pretending the water that dripped down his face was all rainwater. Riza taking a bullet for him, laying in his arms waiting for help to come as the rain washed the blood from her wounds down the drain. Riza, much younger, laughing as the rain ruined the picnic her father had been planning for so long. Riza silently protecting him, sacrificing herself and her joy so that he could reach his goal. Riza punishing herself for not reaching his side quickly enough, screaming into the water-laden sky. Riza with her eyes over bright with unshed tears, pleading with him to hear her voice, the pieces of her heart raining down from her lips. Riza laying motionless on the ground.

After a few moments of silence Falman opens the door for Havoc to leave through, neither men willing to look at the commander they had followed through the ranks and years. Before Jean Havoc rolled completely out of the room he turned his head, "Is this how you repay her? Damn you, bastard. She deserves better." He paused a moment longer, and when he spoke again, it was through a lump in his throat, "Are her years of suffering worth nothing to you Fuhrer? How many drinks will it take her to drown her sorrow this time?"

As the door was shut behind him Roy could hear Havoc's voice breaking, "It would be more merciful for you to just kill her. You can't keep waiting around for her to do it herself." Roy winced to hear his previous musings given voice by Havoc's words.

Roy's guards followed the two men out, so the Fuhrer was left alone with his thoughts and his pain. The clouds had overtaken the sky, but kept holding on to the rain, hoarding it like a child would sweets, as lighting flashed above the earth. That flash of blue light drew Roy's eye back to the pane where he saw his own face reflected in the glass.

The sight of his coal black eye sent a flush of shame coursing through his body and he looked away, his gaze landing on the spot where Riza had fallen. He could see the edge of his short bookcase stained where she had hit her head. He stared transfixed by the pool of red on the white carpet. Blood. Riza's blood. His hand curled into a fist, his stomach sick with guilt. What had he done? The red stains on the carpet seemed to spread, reaching out towards him accusingly. His fist shot out. He slammed the same hand that had injured Riza into the glass of the window, welcoming the shards of glass that buried into his flesh, welcoming the punishment and pain that he deserved.

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The medic's had frowned over his mangled hand, but no one commented. By then everyone had heard about what had happened with Riza Hawkeye, and so he found little sympathy from those who knew her in the military. She had become well respected and admired within the ranks of Central, and everyone knew how intensely loyal she was to the Fuhrer. They viewed Roy's actions as betrayal, but knew that none of them could act against him in any way without suffering from Hawkeye's wrath.

Somehow that knowledge just made it all the worse, even when the Fuhrer had betrayed her and hurt her, she would continue to defend him. The hidden glances and reproving glares bore into Roy's back as he walked the halls to his car. His driver said nothing to him as he got in, simply starting the car and turning down the abandoned streets that led to his new home.

Roy kept his eye focused outwards at the closed shops and dark homes they were driving past. _It's starting to rain._ Drops of water clung to the glass and one of his finger reached up, tracing the path of its fall down the smooth pane. His driver was about to turn down the long drive to his mansion when something caught the Fuhrer's eye that made his breath freeze in his chest. "Stop! Stop the car damnit!"

The driver slammed on the brakes, causing the car's tires to slide on the pavement. Roy leaned forward, not believing what he was seeing, thinking he had to be wrong. A small dog was running back and forth across the street trailing the remains of a leash that looked like it had been chewed through.

When the car stopped the dog ran up, and as it drew closer Roy could hear his heart pounding in his throat. The Fuhrer almost tore the door off its hinges as he scrambled out of the vehicle, "Hayate!"

The dog whimpered and ran up to the man. Roy bent down and ran his fingers through the dog's coat, feeling for injuries. Hayate whined as the man's fingers prodded his side. Roy pulled his hand away to see blood was being washed from his glove by the falling rain. He was about to look at the dog's injury closer when Black Hayate wiggled out of his grasp, firmly grabbing Roy's jacket sleeve in his jaws, pulling him towards the end of the street.

Roy immediately thinks of Riza, if Hayate was here, then Riza Hawkeye had to be somewhere nearby. "Alright boy, show me where she is." He rose to his feet as Hayate began to trot down the sidewalk.

"Sir! Where are you going?" His driver called into the darkness after him.

"Something's wrong, I am going to check it out. Stay here. You men, come with me!" He gestured to the three men that filed out of the security car that trailed him wherever he went. He was about to continue after Black Hayate when he was stopped again by his driver.

"Sir, your gloves are wet, you can't make a spark! Here, take this!" Roy's hand shot out to catch a small silver cylinder. When he looked down to see what it was, he was surprised to see it was a metallic lighter.

He shot a severe look at his driver who waved him off saying, "Ms. Riza would massacre me if I let you run off with such slight protection. Be careful sir."

Roy nodded, then took off at a run to follow Riza's dog through a maze of alleyways stretching through the city. When they came to a poorly lit street Hayate came to a sudden halt. The dog started to whimper and shake; his eyes trained a single alley. Roy placed his palm soothingly on the pup's head, assuring the pet that they had gotten the message.

The three guards nodded, taking out their guns and aiming them at the dark corridor. Roy's fingers tightened on the borrowed lighter as he raised it in front of him. With a nod from his guards the Flame Alchemist flicked the flame, and sent a blast of flame up into the air to shed some light on the depths.

What the light revealed caused two of the men to scream, dropping their weapons in fear. Roy had to fight against the urge to turn tail and run himself, so he could hardly blame those two individuals whose footsteps he could hear getting fainter. His remaining guard's knuckles where white, his face pale. Part of Roy wondered at what a wonder it was that the man's arm was so steady.

The image that greeted their wide eyes was of a creature, meat stretched over a frame of a human skeleton, rotten with decay and oozing blood and pus. It screeched in pain when the light from Roy's flames touched it, the flesh boiling and blistering before their eyes. It pulled its face back from where it had been perched so close to his assistant's blank stare and hissed at the two men. The Fuhrer waited, veins filled with ice, until the creature leaped towards him, black lips stretched back to show a mouth filled with razor-sharp teeth. When it was within arm's reach, he flicked the lighter, consuming the creature with his flames until there was nothing left but ash and the stench of burning flesh lingering in the air.

"Riza! Riza are you alright? Riza?!" Roy fell to his knees by her side, his hands went to either side of her neck, turning her head so she was looking him in the eyes, but she was completely unresponsive. "Riza!"

"Sir, sir, I think we need to go, let's get her back to the car. We can call a doctor for her once we get you home. Fuhrer!" Roy was barely aware of his guard pulling at him arm.

He shook him off, "Alright."

The lighter lay forgotten on the pavement as Roy scooped the prone woman up into his arms. "Let's go. Come on Hayate!" Roy and his precious cargo followed the black and white dog back through the winding alleys that they had first traveled through. Roy was just barely conscience of the quick breaths coming from behind him that told him his guard was at his tail, but Roy didn't really care, all of his attention focused on getting the woman in his arms safe again.

At that moment he felt Riza start to shake in his arms, her fists curling on his chest, grabbing fistfuls of his coat. She seemed to tuck herself into a smaller ball and he tightened his hold on her in response. When they reached the light from the car's headlights she recoiled from the brightness, burying her face in his shoulder.

Without a word his driver held open the backseat door and Roy brought her into the leather interior, keeping her cradled in his lap, Hayate peering up at them with sad eyes from the next seat and the driver didn't need to be told to gun the engine back to the Fuhrer's mansion.

Roy glanced down at Riza, worried by the pallor of her skin. When he saw the blood that kept seeping from the wound on her head he felt consumed by guilt again. "I am so sorry," he whispered, pressing his lips softly against her forehead, "Please forgive me."

The Fuhrer's driver never commented on the tears that continued to fall down his master's face as they hurried to the mansion. The Fuhrer never commented on the pitying looks his driver cast him through the mirror. The Fuhrer's guard never mentioned when he caught sight of his fellow guardsmen's shamed-filled forms huddling on the sidewalk. The Fuhrer never took his eye off of Riza's pale face. The Fuhrer's assistant never opened her eyes to see the agony that filled his panic-stricken face. The rain continued on.

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So.....there it is...I'll try to find time to work on chappie III this weekend, but I am getting REALLY busy, and I also promised another Chapter on my OTHER ROYAI fic, so I need to deliver there too! But just let me know what ya think!


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